Looking for signs he is hurting after the break up? Great you have come to the right place.
While guys can hide that they are sad pretty well and don’t cry nearly as much as us girls, there are still some tell-tale signs that he is hurting after you’ve broken up. He might be able to hide tears but it is hard to hide when a man is angry after a breakup!
Here’s the key signs that he is heartbroken over you!
30 Signs He is Hurting After the Break up
He continues to call or text you very regularly:
A guy who is hurting after the breakup may still call or text you on a regular basis. Even if you’re the one who hurt him, he’s used to turning to you to help him deal with his problems.
He’s likely also hoping he can still convince you to give him another chance. If he’s still calling or texting as much as he did when the two of you were together, there’s a good chance he’s hurt but he’s trying to figure out how to get back in your good graces.
He deletes you off of social media:
If the two of you are no longer together and he’s upset about it, he may decide to remove you from all of his social media channels.
It could be that he doesn’t want to see reminders of you and have to watch you start moving on with your life. Or he may be attempting to hide his hurt by deleting you and pretending you never existed. Whatever the reason, if he removes you from all of his social media there’s a good chance it’s because he’s hurt.
He refuses to see you:
Generally if things ended well after a break-up there aren’t hard feelings and the two of you would have no problem with occasionally meeting up as friends.
If you’re still hoping to see him and maintain a cordial relationship after the breakup but he refuses, he’s likely hurt over it. Seeing you will just be a reminder that you aren’t together anymore and he won’t want that painful reminder. For him it’s just easier to avoid the hurt he’s feeling altogether and refuse to see you.
See more: How to keep a guy interested
He goes out of his way to avoid seeing you:
This goes along with refusing to see you but he may take it to the next level and even go out of his way to avoid you if he’s hurt. You happen to notice him just down the street while you’re out and about and as soon as he catches a glimpse of you he quickly makes off in another direction.
If he’s upset over your breakup, he may go the extra mile to avoid so much as even bumping into you to avoid increasing his feelings of hurt. Running into you will just remind him of what he’s missing and he won’t want to deal with that.
One of the clear signs hes heartbroken over you!
He doesn’t want to remain friends after the breakup:
You initiated the breakup and you’d love to stay friends with him. After all, he was an important part of your life for a long time and you don’t want to simply cast him out. He, on the other hand, adamantly refuses. If he can’t be with you, he doesn’t want to be just friends.
Being friendzoned after a breakup can be an extra shot of pain for a guy that is already hurting. He may feel that the only way he can actually get over you is by removing you from his life altogether. Which means he won’t want to stay friends with you.
He speaks badly about you:
Your friend calls to let you know she saw your ex out with some friends the other night and she couldn’t believe the things he was saying about you.
He spent the majority of the night telling anyone who would listen what a terrible person you were. You might be shocked. After all, this is a guy who once claimed to care about you. However, if he’s hurting after the breakup all bets are off and he may channel his hurt into anger. That may come out in a not so nice way and he might just try to take it out on you (or at least your name).
He quickly starts seeing someone else:
You’re shocked to learn that just 2 short weeks after the breakup he’s already got a new girlfriend. Maybe he actually is into her and is trying to move on.
But chances are, he’s hurting since the two of you split and he’s looking for a quick rebound. He doesn’t know how to deal with the pain of losing you so rather than work through it, he finds someone new to fill the void. It likely won’t last very long, as she’s not you and he’ll quickly come to realize that.
See more: How to make a guy regret ghosting you
He reverts back to bad habits:
Prior to the two of you getting together he might have had a few bad habits that you helped him move past. Maybe he had a serious caffeine addiction and you were able to get him to start drinking more water than soda.
Maybe he was a smoker and you got him to kick the bad habit. But now that you’re broken up he’s picked those old habits right back up.
Reverting to those old habits are a pretty solid sign that he’s in pain after your breakup. He doesn’t know how to deal with his heartache, so he returns to the old familiarity of bad habits.
One of the big signs he’s hurting after a breakup.
See more: Signs your ex is miserable
He doesn’t date anyone else for a long time:
If the two of you have been broken up for quite a while and he’s yet to start dating anyone else this may be a sign of his continued heartache. He may still have feelings for you or he’s scared to try his luck at dating again for fear of being hurt.
Whatever the reasoning behind his hesitancy to begin dating again, if he’s been holding off on seeing anyone new he’s likely still hurting after the break-up.
His friends or family reach out to you:
Have you noticed an increase in messages from his friends or family recently? They’re concerned about him and wondering what’s up with the two of you. He may have withdrawn some of his contact with family members or friends because he isn’t sure how to talk about your breakup and how he’s feeling just yet.
If his friends or family have started reaching out to you more frequently with their concerns, he’s probably feeling the pain of heartache after the breakup.
He tries to hurt your feelings:
He brings up old hurtful things from the past or his responses by text or phone have become cold and less than kind. If it seems like he’s intent on hurting your feelings then he probably is.
Oftentimes when experiencing hurt, guys may revert to lashing out at you to deal with the heartache. If he suddenly seems unusually cruel or angry towards you, this is a sign he is hurting after the break up. He dumped me to why is he angry!?!?
His social media posts seem sad:
He’s been posting quite a few quotes on his Instagram story about heartbreak. Or he’s been sharing Facebook statuses that just seem to indicate he’s sad in general.
This is another sign that seems pretty obvious but if he’s sharing with everyone on his social media how hurt and sad he is, he’s likely still feeling some heart ache over the two of you splitting up.
He removes any sign of you from his life:
He deletes all of your pictures from social media then he deletes your accounts from his social media. He returns every last thing you ever left at his place and he blocks your number.
He’s doing everything he can to make it seem as if you never existed in his life in the first place. A guy going to this much effort to remove you from his life is most likely hurting after your breakup.
He’s chosen to deal with his heart break by attempting to erase you from his life and pretend there was never anything between the two of you.
He loses his job:
You hear through mutual friends that he’s recently lost his job. You’re concerned, what happened?! This is a pretty big sign that he’s hurting after the breakup.
A job loss often due to poor performance and if he was upset after the two of you called it quits he may have had a hard time focusing at work.
He might have missed several days, showed up late, or in general didn’t complete his work as he was supposed to. Heartache can cause even the best of workers to lose focus and if he was pretty hurt that might be exactly what happened to cause his job loss.
He makes a sudden life change:
If he takes a new job out of nowhere, or up and moves to another city out of the blue, it’s a big sign he’s hurting after your breakup. He might make a move to put some distance between the two of you and not be reminded of you everywhere he goes.
Taking a new job may feel like a “fresh start” and be how he starts trying to move on with his life. Either way, any time a guy makes a big life change shortly after a tough breakup, it’s a sign he’s hurting over it.
He is doing a lot of partying:
Since the two of you have broken up, you’ve noticed every photo he’s tagged in on social media is of him out on the town. He’s hanging out with some new people you don’t know and he is partying with them constantly.
This is especially a sign he’s hurt if he wasn’t much of a partier before or while the two of you were together. He doesn’t know how to deal with his heartbreak and he’s turned to partying to distract himself from the pain he feels of missing you.
He seems to be out for revenge:
Often when we’re hurting, we turn to anger as a way to manage our pain. Maybe he knows you have several unpaid parking tickets and he decides to tell a police officer right where to find you to collect those fines.
Or maybe he knows a secret about you that you were desperately trying to keep from a friend or family member and next thing you know he’s happily spilled the beans. If he’s going around doing things out of spite or anger, it’s a solid sign he’s hurting after the break-up.
He goes out of his way to seem like he’s not hurt:
Everytime the two of you chat, he makes sure to work into the conversation about how great he’s doing. His social media posts are full of positivity and all the “exciting new things” he’s doing. He wants you to think he’s just fine without you.
But if he’s suddenly Mr. Positivity and his actions seem to be over the top and out of character, he’s likely hurting over the break up. But he’s determined to convince you and the rest of the world that he’s just fine.
He calls or texts you with irregular emotions:
One minute he’s texting you wishing you a good day and hopeful that the two of you can remain friends. Next, he’s sent you a long text sharing all of his feelings and looking for your support.
His emotions are up and down but he still sees you as a source of support. He’s likely feeling hurt after the break-up but doesn’t know who to turn to for help with his feelings.
He is very obviously not doing well:
You just so happened to run into him at the store and were shocked by his disheveled state. His clothes were wrinkled and not even close to matching. His hair looked like it hadn’t been combed in days. And had he shaved at all since the two of you split?
It was clear to you that he hadn’t been taking care of himself. Just talking to him you could tell he wasn’t in a good place. This is a pretty obvious sign that he is hurting after the break up.
He posts throwback pictures of you on social media:
Your Facebook notifications are blowing up. You sign on to see that he’s tagged you in several old photos of the two of you and it’s caused all sorts of speculation from friends and family.
It may be frustrating if you’re trying to move on with your life but it’s a pretty solid sign that he’s hurting after your breakup. He’s using social media to reminisce on the good times the two of you had together and hoping that you remember what you once had too.
You seem to be running into him all the time:
You’re seeing him every other day at the gym, he’s popping up at your favorite local hangouts, and even picking up takeout last night he was at your favorite restaurant. Seems like too much of a coincidence to actually be a coincidence? It probably is.
If he’s hurt after your breakup and looking for the chance to continue to see you he may start popping up at places you tend to frequent. He’s hoping to run into you and see if you’ve changed your mind. If you’re still harboring feelings for him this is a good thing. If not you may want to consider asking him to give you some space.
His emotions have changed:
Maybe he’s not normally a super emotional guy but every time you talk to him now he seems to break down. Or maybe it’s the opposite, he’s normally pretty expressive and will show his emotion but all of the sudden he seems to have just shut down.
If he’s hurting after the two of you have split he may not know exactly how to handle his emotions. He may either shut down or become overly emotional until he figures out how to get a handle on his pain and start dealing with the hurt he’s feeling. One of the big signs he is hurting after the break up.
He doesn’t tell anyone you’ve broken up:
You run into his mother at the grocery store and she asks where you’ve been lately, since she hasn’t seen you with your ex in a while. You’re confused (you broke up over a month ago?!) and ask her if she knows the two of you broke up.
She’s shocked! She had no idea. He likely kept the breakup from his family because he’s hurt over the two of you splitting up. He may be hoping you work it out, or just too heartbroken to share the news just yet. Either way, this is a big sign he’s hurting after the breakup.
He tries to make you feel jealous:
He’s posting pictures with his ex on social media, he adds photos of him surrounded by girls while he’s out to his snapchat story, or he “runs into you” while he’s out with another girl. All of these things may be a sign that he’s hurting after the breakup.
He’s upset over the two of you splitting and he’s looking to get back at you by attempting to make you jealous. If you still have feelings for him, it may be hard to see him out with another girl. Understand that, even though it doesn’t make it okay, the reason he’s doing it is likely because he’s feeling heart broken since splitting up with you.
He turns into a jerk:
This is a subtle sign that he’s hurting after your breakup. When the two of you were together he was warm, kind, and quick to be there for you during tough times. Since your split, he’s distant, cold, and possibly even rude to you in conversations.
It can be challenging not to take this personally, as you certainly didn’t mean to hurt him during the breakup. Unfortunately, it may be the only way he knows how to deal with his feelings. He’s feeling heartbroken and he’s taking those feelings out on you.
He blocks your number:
You give him a call just to check up on him and the call won’t go through. You shoot him a text but never get the delivered receipt. Unfortunately, he’s most likely blocked you. This can be a hard pill to swallow, especially if you still care for him as a friend and person.
But unfortunately, this is a sign he’s hurting after your breakup and he needs some distance. If he’s feeling the pain of having lost you, he may only know how to deal with it by shutting you out. It’s a defense mechanism he’s using to help him deal with his heartache.
He starts acting completely different:
The dynamic between the two of you will certainly shift after a breakup but if it seems like he’s made a shift that’s pretty dramatic it’s likely a sign he’s hurting.
Maybe his entire demeanor is different. He’s always been pretty laid back and easy to get along with but now he’s trying to be the tough guy or play it extra cool. He’s not sure how to deal with the emotions he’s feeling and how to act around you anymore. The result is what seems like a complete personality change anytime the two of you interact.
He tells you that he’s hurting:
A very evident sign a guy is hurting after the breakup is when he tells you so. He calls you upset one night and lets you know he is hurting and still misses you.
This is a pretty obvious one since he’s telling you outright how he feels. If you no longer share those feelings with him it can be hard to hear. Especially since none of us want to hurt someone we once cared about. It’s not your job to fix this for him but recognize he’s sharing these feelings with you because he’s still experiencing heartache.
He treats you like someone he barely knows:
You just so happen to run into him while you’re out and he acts cold, distant, and like the two of you are practically strangers. This is a sure sign he’s hurting after the break-up.
He’s experiencing heartbreak and he has no idea how to deal with the feelings he continues to have for you. The only way he knows how to handle his lingering feelings is to treat you coldly and pretend he barely knows you.